No Post for 29 Sept 2009

Dear Fans of Tales of Idiotic Boss,

Today I have decided not to post Part 9 to commemorate a quite significant event which happened earlier today.

This is what happened...

Big Boss: Do you know that Mr. John asked for a transfer?

Boss: Errmmm.. Ahhhh.. Ehhh.. Ya, he told me about it.

Big Boss: When did you know this?!!

Boss: Errmmm.. Ahhhh.. Ehhh.. About 2 weeks ago.

Big Boss: Why he never consulted me?!!! Do you think this have something to do with my confrontation with him 2 weeks ago?

Boss: Ya, I think so.

Instead of the usual "No la. No la" or "I don't know la", Boss said, "Ya, I think so."

(At least he showed some courage that is worthy of my commend)

Applause please... but just for 2 seconds ya... Hahaha!

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 8): YOU CALL HIM AND SAY I CALL HIM

Boss: Hey, you call the Managing Director at HQ…Tell him that the project has been cancelled…

Worker: Boss, don’t you wanna call him yourself? He is the MD, not the clerk..

Boss: Errmm.. Aahh.. Ehh.. You call la… I don’t like to call those people at HQ la.. I don't know them.. and besides I don’t like to talk to people from the HQ…

Worker: Why? (duh, as if I know them…)

Boss: They can be so demanding, ask a lot of questions. Sometimes, I don't know how to answer.

Worker: Don't you think it's more suitable for you to call him. You are the boss here whereas I am just a junior executive.

Boss: You call la… YOU CALL HIM AND TELL HIM THAT I TOLD YOU TO CALL HIM TO TELL that the project has been cancelled..

(Worker: (thinking in heart) like a primary school girl who is shy to call the boy student in class…)

(Hung up phone.. toot.. toot.. toot!)

Moral of the Joke

1. Don't PASS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to your subordinate.

2. Be BRAVE to talk to the higher management.

3. Always be READY with all the FACTS, FIGURES and DETAILS.

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 7): It's your fault

Boss: Hey, we have a problem la.. We don't have enough budget to run the project la.. Big Boss sure will get angry at me…

Worker: Is it?

Boss: Ya! How aa? How aa? Errmm.. Aahh.. Ehh.. How to answer to Big Boss? WHO CAN I PUT THE BLAME ON aa? Did the Finance Department really checked correct budget aa? Can we blame them? Did our people send the correct budget?

Worker: Yes, they sent the correct budget.

Boss: Aiaya, cannot blame them… Did you prepare the correct budget?

Worker: Yes, of course.

Boss: Did I check on it aa?

Worker: Yes, you checked and instructed me to submit the budget.

Boss: Errmm.. Aahh.. Ehh.. How aa? How aa? Who to blame aa?

Worker: Boss, I also don't know. Maybe you should talk to the Finance Department or Big Boss…

(Hung up phone.. toot.. toot.. toot!)

Moral of the Joke:

1. If a problem occurs, don't always think on how to save your own ass, POINT FINGERS and find a SCAPEGOAT! Be ACCOUNTABLE and solve the problem.

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 6)

Boss: Hey, please finish the job immediately, I need to see the Big Boss about this matter.

Worker: Ok boss, give me some time..

Boss: Faster la. As you know the Big Boss style la.. if SHE asks for something, she will sure wants it immediately… (mumbling) Our Big Boss is very demanding… Yesterday she scolded me again...

Worker: Ok boss. I will try to finish it as soon as possible.

Boss: Aiyo, very tension la.. Here, at the office we have this Big Boss. Then, at my house I also have another Big Boss… Both of them exactly the same… Very Demanding, Fierce, Pushy and Like to Shout at me….

Worker stopped and looked at the Boss with a puzzled and speechless face…..

Boss: Ermm. Aahh.. Ehh… No la, no la. I didn’t say anything la…

(Worker thinking in heart: You don't have to say it out la, I can see it from your face that u have another Big Boss at home)

HAHAHAHA!!

Moral of the Joke:

1. Can't think of any management theories to support this joke. Personal advice: Don't be a LOSER at you office and home at the same time. Or your life will be really.. really.. SUCKS...

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 5): You are the Boss, not ME!

Boss: How to solve this problem aa? I am not very sure la. How aa? What is your opinion on this aa?

Worker: Ok Boss, in my opinion. Firstly, you can do this... Second, you can this... Then, you can do that… (explained every step)

Boss: Errmm.. Aahh.. Ehhh.. Can we do like that aa? Do you think it’s correct aa? I am scared if later people will blame me on this.

Worker: Yes, Boss. You can do like that.

Boss: Ya kah? Do you think I have to seek permission from the Big Boss ka? Or I do not need to? Are you sure I can do this ka?

Worker: If I AM THE BOSS, I will definitely do like that… but I don't know how you think la, YOU ARE THE BOSS NOT ME… It's up to u lo.

(Hung up phone.. toot.. toot.. toot!)

Moral of the Joke:

1. As a Boss, you have to be DECISIVE and be ACCOUNTABLE for every decisions that you made.

2. Don't ever show indecisiveness in front of your subordinates. Make decision and proceed with the work.

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 4): Scary Cat

Boss: I need to go and see the CEO… Can you accompany me to go and meet him together aa?

Worker: Huh?! Accompany u? Together?

Boss: Errmm. Aahh.. Ehhh… No la, as you know.. Errmm. Aahh.. Ehhh… When the Big Boss asks me and IF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER, YOU CAN HELP ME TO ANSWER..

(Worker thinking in heart: What the hell?!! You think this is kindergarden aa? Like small kids need adults to accompany them to the toilet)

Worker: Sorry boss, I have an appointment in 10 minutes time with a client (bluffing)

(Boss looked tensed and walked away…)

(HAHAHA!!)

Moral of the Joke:

1. As a boss, you must KNOW all the details.

2. Don't ever bring your subordinate as your cannon fodder or back-up. It will make you look really BAD!

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 3). I'LL TELL HIM THAT YOU TOLD ME THIS

Boss: How many people is coming for the function? Big Boss wants to know.

Worker: The number is not finalized yet la, boss

Boss: Just give me an estimated number.

Worker: 17 ppl. Not confirm one la

Boss: Ok, I will TELL the Big Boss THAT YOU TOLD ME is 17 ppl.

Worker: Boss, I am saying this number is not confirmed yet, please don’t use my name. If u want to report to the Big Boss, USE YOUR OWN NAME…

Hung up Phone… toot.. toot..toot..!!

(HAHAHAHAHA)

Moral of the Joke:

1. BE RESPONSIBLE!!

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 2): Someone like him but not him

Big Boss: Who give the order to do like this?!!

Boss: Erm.. Aah.. Ehh.. It's not me la, Big Boss...

Big.Boss: Erm.. Aah.. Ehh.. Then who gave the order?!!

Boss: It's Mr. John. He gave the order to do that...

(The Big Boss was using loudspeaker and Mr. John who was right in front of Big Boss all the time overheard the whole conversation. John was puzzled to hear that blame.)

Big Boss: Are you sure?!! Mr. John is right infront of me now. I can ask him whether he gave the order or not..

Boss: Erm. Ehh. Aah. No la. No la. I mean SOMEONE LIKE MR. JOHN BUT NOT MR. JOHN. I never ask Mr. John to do anything, ever, i swear…

Hung up phone.. toot.. toot.! (HAHAHA!!)

Moral of the Joke:

1. DON'T TRY TO BLUFF YOUR BOSS if you are NOT CONFIDENT. Many bosses were also "cheaters" before, they will know when you are cheating.

2. Bluff with confidence!!

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 1): Discussion Draft

Boss: Your draft was very bad. Erm.. Aaa.. Ehh.. I was embarassed while presenting to the Big Boss, you know...

Worker: Boss, that is your draft.. i have changed the areas as instructed by you..

Boss: Erm.. Aaa.. Ehh.. No la, that one is a DISCUSSION DRAFT only.. not for the Big Boss

Worker: I just do according to ur instructions.

Boss: Erm.. Aaa.. Ehh.. No la, u should check it before asking me to present to the Big Boss.

Worker: But Boss, I have already sent it to you and you said it was OK.

Boss: No la, No la, I said discussion draft is ok. Final draft not OK.

Worker: But Boss, what's the difference?

Boss: Erm.. Aaa.. Ehh.. No la... The Discussion Draft is between us only... and.....

Worker: Ok, ok, just send me that thing to be amended.

Hung up phone.. toot toot.! (HAHAHA!!)

Moral of the Joke:

1. ADMIT YOUR MISTAKE AND DON'T BLAME YOUR SUBORDINATE if you did not check the prepared draft...

2. If you are unhappy with the draft, ask your subordinate to amend it until you are SATISFIED before presenting it to the Big Boss..

Welcome!!

Welcome to all the readers of Tales of Idiotic Boss!

As part of the working group in the world, I have been working for all type of bosses. Good ones, Bad ones, OK ones, and "Unique ones"... and I feel many of you guys have the same expereince... This blog is created to share some of my funny experiences and as well as my colleagues' experiences.

The objective of this blog is to spread MANAGEMENT messages to all the working group and maybe the managers and bosses so that they can avoid some of the most common pitfalls in managing an organisation.

This blog is not intended to offend and not related to any individuals or groups, alive or dead...

Happy Viewing...