Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 32)

XYZ Plc. was having a weekly Management Meeting.

Sir Amvent: Lord Adam, I proposed that we mobilised all the sales personnel in the sales department to secure more sales.

Ms. Rody: Lord Adam, I fully agree with Sir Amvent.

Sir Amvent: Then we implement a Call Centre Unit to handle the sales via phone.

Ms. Rody: Lord Adam, I fully agree with Sir Amvent again.

Sir Amvent: And to further reduce the cost, we can terminate those sales personnel who did not perfom.

Ms. Rody: Lord Adam, I fully agree with Sir Amvent.

Sir Amvent: This is to show our commitment in getting more sales to the HQ. And if Lord Adam, you are in the sales teams, we might sack you if you are not performing. Ha ha!

Ms. Rody: Lord Adam, I fully agree with Sir Amvent. Ermm... Sorry Lord Adam, I didn't mean that I agree that you to be sacked.

Sir Amvent: Ms. Rody, I am just cracking a joke here. Just don't agree with me on anything, will'ya.

Ms. Rody was blushing like a baboon's ass.

Moral of the Joke

• If you want to apple-polish, please do it with human brain and not parrot brain.
• You will get more "asses" on your face than good favours by apple-polishing.

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 31)

(This happened few years ago) XYZ PLc. is in the midst of evaluating some training proposal from consultants for some internal training programme. Two consultant companies were shortlisted Advonte Plc. and TrainBean Plc. Mr. Vash was assigned to conduct a evaluation and suggest the best company for the job.

Mr. Vash, in his usual nature, delegated this job to his assistant, Mr. Baker.

Mr. Vash: Baker, did you come to any decision on the two companies? Which one you think is suitable for the job?

Mr. Baker: Boss, based on the evaluation, I think TrainBean Plc. is more suitable than Advonte.

Mr. Vash: Why?

Mr. Baker: Boss, first of all, TrainBean is more established and they have a lot of experience in the training subject.

Mr. Vash: Aiaya, are you sure aa? But I think Advonte is better.

Mr. Baker: Ok Boss. If you feel Advonte is better, then we will suggest Advonte to the Management.

Mr. Vash: Yeah. Baker, please remember to call Advonte and inform them to prepare a final proposal.

Few days have gone and Baker forgot to call Advonte Plc.

Mr. Vash: Baker, why you didn't call Advonte Plc.?

Mr. Baker: Sorry Boss, I forgot. But how did you know about this?

Mr. Vash: Of course I knew. My wife has been nagging me at home and asking when we wanna award the contract to her friend!! (oppssss...)

Mr. Baker: ..................

Mr. Vash: Ermmm... ahhh.. ehhh.... No la. No la. Forget what I have said.

Mr. Baker: (wtf.....!)

Moral of the Joke

• As a Boss, you make all the decision not your spouse/partners.
• Be professional. Don't mix office with home.

Tales of Idiotic Boss (Part 30)

Mr. Mosquito: Stupid! You can't even solve this problem. Really stupid!!

........

Mr. Mosquito: Stupid! The letter is crumpled. Really Stupid!!

.......

Mr. Mosquito: Stupid! Can't you give a better alternative? Really stupid!!

.......

Mr. Mosquito: Stupid! You are just plain stupid!!

.......

Lord Adam got to know about Mr. Mosquito's bad habit of calling people "stupid" in the office. So one day Lord Adam asked for Mr. Mosquito.

Lord Adam: I heard that you like to call people "stupid" in the office.

Mr. Mosquito: No, no. I never do that. You have been misinformed. It's not me but my assistant, Ms. Maggie. I'll never call people "stupid"

Moral of the Joke

• Don't insult your subordinate.
• Don't call people "stupid" unless you are Einstein, Hawkings or Obama.
• Stupid boss calling others stupid = a pig calling other animals fat. :)